A Farewell To Garms: The Complete and Absurd Style History of Lawrence Schlossman, Four Pins Editor-In-Chief

Today is Lawrence Schlossman's last day at Four Pins and Complex, which is sad. But instead of being sad, we all decided that it'd be best if we masked any feels by aggressively shoving them away from us and making fun of each other instead, probably over a few dozen bottles of Budweiser. So, while reflecting upon Lawrence's career arc, and since some of us have known him for almost six years, we decided to take a brief sojourn and investigate the most important thing to Larry: his French bulldog. Just kidding. It's his style.

As the benevolent overlord of Four Pins, Lawrence has had his hands on the rudder, guiding the site's audience to the best of the best in clothing, lifestyle and memes. Even as it became a weird 9/11 truther platform, Lawrence's personal style was always Four Pins' beacon, and to understand one is to know the other. Or, you know, just look at what Kanye's wearing. Without further ado and with immense apologies to his personal brand, this is "The Complete and Absurd Style History of Lawrence Schlossman," all done in love. And, in the interest of full disclosure, he has no fucking idea that we're doing this.

Everything James Harris touches turns to shit. See for yourself on Twitter.

Ah, a portrait of the artist as a young legend. As a baby-faced Lawrence entered the realm of higher learning, he very quickly nailed down the essentials of college: a blue solo cup ('cause fuck slobs), a beer pong poster on the wall to match the beer pong table in the living room, at least one ethnic friend and a novelty parking sign to complement the "Heroes are made one cup at a time" inspirational poster.

Style-wise, Larry is a blank canvas at this point in his life. Real talk though, seeing the face of #menswear in cargo shorts is like learning Santa isn't real. Does this photograph automatically invalidate every piece of branded content Lawrence lowered himself to, in which he gave us hollow style tips with dead shark eyes? Probably, but one thing was absolutely clear: There was a lot of work to be done.

Oh, you want to know how to talk to girls at parties? Dress like a fucking legend, that's how. There, now you can finally unfollow HTTTGAP and stop looking at noragis neither you nor Lawrence can afford. (Well, maybe now he can). Seriously though, take a minute to marvel at this remarkable improvement. He went from cargo shorts and a web belt to a Dutch under the headband. And even though this New Jersey native is rocking a Reggie Miller jersey, it's clear he quickly learned that dressing like a goddamn king his whole life will result in much better things than just hitting threes.

Style isn't about the clothes, it's an attitude, or something. Isn't that what bloggers were saying in 2013? Anyway, peep the smokegawd back in the day. Clearly influenced by American Gangster-era Jay Z, Lawrence realized that Grape Swishers were the ultimate statement accessory, complemented by a massive popped collar and the flagrant flaunting of the fact that cigars fucking suck. It was clear that Lawrence's style evolution was chugging along nicely and big things were in his near future. But what remained a mystery to all of us at that point was the Photoshop potential of this photo in those innocent pre-meme days. Now we know.

On Schloss Spice's 21st birthday, we were given an early taste of his menswear inclinations. Honestly, this photo speaks for itself, and the only thing I'd like to point out is it seems like the lean isn't agreeing with him.

Wow, bow down and kneel, Noah Johnson and other narc dads around the world, because a post-collegiate Lawrence Schlossman birthed your whole swag. Here, Father Larry started experimenting with rare outerwear, even being so bold as to rock a half-zip Orvis fleece to the mediocre brunches he loves so much. While most of us barbaric Huns could never make the connection in our mind's eye, Larry was already getting weird in the 'burbs and setting himself up for a pretty short leap in the future to the avant-garde likes of Rick Owens, Greg Lauren and vintage Galliano (but only on the weekends).

Remember workwear? There was about a four day period when Lawrence thought he'd make that his thing, but he very quickly learned that the lumberjack lifestyle clashed with his cul-de-sac upbringing. Regardless, it became obvious from this point on that Lawrence was ready to adapt to whatever trend came our way. Except for André rosé. That has been the singular constant in his style evolution.

And Gawd said, "Let this hat be the indicator that one day I will become a Fashion Bro."

And so it was.

Really bold style risk right here, but Lawrence has always been the type of guy who’s brave enough to cop the toughest garm on the rack and try to make it work, especially after a few buckets of Bud Lights with the bros at the local sports bar. Listen, this is Larry's Style Evolution, so there’s gonna be a few bricks sprinkled throughout this visually dazzling journey.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHFASDOASDG;ASFBOHDAFBHDF;;AKA;LSDG;LAK

*orders old-fashioned*

*carries around penknife*

*throws out sneakers*

*scoffs at guys who wear hoodies*

As his blog about duck boots or something started to gain a following, Lawrence found his signature unwavering aesthetic (for now). Seriously, this dude dressed like this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. True story: When we were scrubs at a PR agency, we had to man the velvet rope at a Vegas pool party in July. Dude legit wore double monks and a button down in 105 degrees. Also, I didn’t get to go on the company trip to Mexico because I was an unpaid intern and really offended everyone at the Christmas party, but apparently, and I shit you not, he wore dub munks and trousers to the beach. That’s the type of ardor and commitment a young Larry was about to fuck the whole game up with.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHSDPOGHAPOSIDAHASHDGPASOIHDASPSPHOAAHASHASDGAKAKKKKADSGHAHBBEJA

Look at this bully accountant. I guess every transition period on the timeline of anyone’s style evolution can be a bit rough, but this is pretty brutal. All-McNairy-everything is challenging for anyone to pull off, especially if you’re still taking style cues from your Hoboken bros who now work in sales. We make fun of Lawrence now for wearing the same black hoodie every day and dressing like an asshat every NYFW, but at least we’re beyond whatever this is. Rest in peace Run Of The Mill if only for the sole fact it birthed this outfit at one point.

Sidebar: Beardless Moy.

Other sidebar: Moy has very slender legs.

I really do wonder sometimes where all of Lawrence's sportcoats are these days. Someone seriously should track each one down and write that story for Four Pins. Or write a Gant Rugger jacket's fictional journey from Larry's shoulders to eBay to I guess, like, Iowa or some shit told from the jacket's perspective. I'll make sure you get Four Pin's full freelance rate, which is a Papa John’s coupon and a @SartoriallyInc RT for a few thousands words? One thing is for damn sure, Lawrence has never lacked for confidence, which has clearly worked against him in a few instances. But the night is always darkest just before the dawn.

I won't ever try to convince guys to wear suits unless the situation calls for it, but Lawrence did start to come correct at this point. What can I say, zero break and soft shoulders just pair perfectly with that haircut. The only thing that he really still needed to learn was that putting mirror selfies up on Instagram—instead of just texting it to your boy to ask, “all earth tones errthing or nah?”—is a laughable move. C’mon bruh, what would Schloss the Cargo Shorts Boss circa 2007 or Cozy Goth Ninja Larry circa 2015 say to this? KEEP IT UP, LAWRENCE. MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL MAKE IT TO PITTI!

OH SHIT, YOU MADE IT! PEAK #MENSWEAR LAWRENCE!! Damn son, it took you an embarrassing amount of time, but you really made sure to keep it 100. Just look at this fucking guy! If a simpleton from the Northeast corner of New Jersey can look this sharp in a suit, no wonder he had legions of youngs dressing like olds.

DO THE BERNIE DANCE!

I believe this photo was taken right after Lawrence started working at Complex. About a week or so after his first day, he went on a, like, a month-long romp throughout Europe, which made a great first impression with his bosses and set expectations nice and low off the rip. During this trip, you'd think he would’'ve doubled down on his Isaia and hardbottoms, but it really only did take one week working at Complex for LarrBear to drink the sneaker Kool-Aid. He obviously wasn't in full-fledged Joe La Puma territory yet (Quick poll: When was the last time JLP wore a collar?), but dude is definitely sliding off the #menswear map and joining us on the dark side, the side where we justify $400 hoodies as opposed to $800 blazers. His mantra of "Real G's move in silence like Boglioli" was clearly undergoing a very serious identity crisis, which explains his scoliosis slump.

Well that was quick. After selling 80% of his wardrobe to pay to get his “Sprezz In The Streets ‘till I Rest In Peace” chest tattoo removed, Larry Wikipedia’d "reverse layering" and fucking ran with it. Still influenced by that time he and I went to the Watch the Throne Tour in 2011 (for which he still owes me $90) and saw Kanye’s kilt, it took about two and a half years to methodically cut ties with his college and Hoboken friends so that he could fully flex rare hemlines without being mocked. Once again, our dude had found his absolute signature look, combining high-fashion pieces with stuff that he got for free. It was a sense of style that he would never stray from, one could safely assume.

Oh yeah, his crusty Earth slipper phase. Even if the exterior of Schloss’ style evolution has switched it up from time to time, he really is a troll at heart, which explains the Birks and so, so, so many other things. We're also very much into the beginning of his All-Black-Everything period, with the rarity of his gear ramping up as he stopped spending $88 a day on cigarettes and wisely started spending excessive amounts of money on clothing that he would wear for the rest of his life. But the most exclusive thing in this photo is the candid smile, the likes of which we haven't seen since he retired from professional beer pong.

There sre two ways to know New York Fashion Week is upon us: First, there's a deluge of struggle events and invites that flood your inbox, as well as thinkpieces that weakly justify NYFW's existence and second, Lawrence and all his third row cohorts break out their clown costumes and apply pick-up artist techniques to street style photographers for a week. Larry may love to laugh, but for all three days of Fashion Week he is NOT fucking around. My dude stole a salon apron and dip-dyed it death metal black. That's simply the sheer mental illness that drives this guy to test the boundaries of both taste and his parents' love.

Lawrence's current everyday get-up is sneakers, black jeans, and the same fucking black John Elliott hoodie. It doesn’t matter if it's 80 or 20 degrees, that black hoodie is guaranteed to shows up. That thing has seen more memes and skipped more meetings than anyone could ever hope to do in their lifetime.

Complex hasn't exactly slapped us laborers in the forehead with any Hearst money, but dude could've taken the cash he made posing for some trash PF Flyers branded content and copped another jawn, no? He def. got the scrilla up front, but not for wearing these kicks out on the town mind you. I know this because these were put on the office free table the minute after this photo was taken.

See? There's that fucking hoodie! It's everywhere. I tried to crop it out, but part of that hoodie even appears in my Tinder, Raya, Bumble, J-Swipe, Happn and Hinge profiles, since I'm the type of asshole to brag on dating apps that I once met Big Sean. Plus, my hair looks great. So I guess when I'm awkwardly making small talk over extortionately priced cocktails with digital skeezoids, a little part of Lawrence is responsible for that.

Have no fear if you're sick of that hoodie. Given Lawrence's propensity to Kelly Slater whatever wave comes his way, he'll for sure be onto the next in no time. Lawrence's style is clearly as malleable as anyone else's, but a few things are for sure very consistent about this guy. He’s unswervingly hilarious, whip-smart and a good guy who treated me exactly the same when I was technically his intern all the way up to him hating me for making him stay past 6pm to work on Fashion Bros scripts, and the same can be said for anyone he's come across. The worst part about Lawrence leaving isn’t that there will be one less person in the office to roast about dressing like Kanye, or that now I'll have to go to the Fashion Week events I hate if I want to see him, but that we'll have one less non-garbage human being around us every day.

LARRY, YOU HAVE BETTER FUCKING READ THIS LAST PARAGRAPH BEFORE DECIDING TO COME INTO MY OFFICE AND PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.