Image via Complex Original
Maybe you grew up with braces. Maybe you had asthma. Maybe you pitched tents during speech class. The point is: we finally have a list we can identify with. Whether on or off the court watching these guys was like looking in a mirror (provided it was a funhouse mirror that added a foot). Obviously you're a stud if you get to the NBA. But these guys lack(ed) the grace of MJ and the fluidity of Magic. This Pau Gasol we can't relate to. This Pau Gasol, we can. That's pretty much the idea.
A lot of us can't attest to what it's like being 6'10"+ (or 5'10"+ for that matter) so when we watch a big man with grace we take it for granted. When you see a human beanstalk's gangly limbs flail around you wonder "This guy's a professional athlete?" If you're seven feet tall, with functional knees, and can tie your shoes, you got a shot. When you see Shawn Marion shoot from his chest you say "My shot's prettier." When you see Chris Bosh bathe in a celebratory money shot you sign onto Twitter to type: #smh. Here are The Most Awkward Athletes in NBA History.
Shawn Marion
One of the ugliest shots in the history of the game. But when you're in the 7th grade and you're already better than your AAU coach, he's not gonna fuck with it.
Lamar Odom
It doesn't get much more awkward than rapping about cheating on your socialite wife and then posting it on YouTube and having to explain yourself when you come down. The real question: Why would he do this? Oh, that's right. Never mind.
Tyler Hansbrough
When we think of Hansbrough we think of this. Or him getting caught on camera at the worst possible time when approached by World Peace. Or him freaking out after hitting a game winner. He's a must-watch when he's on the floor, with a range of facial expressions that's tough to match.
Dwight Howard
On the court he's a monster (some may question his overall effort, but all agree he's a physical freak). But off the court, there was this (above). And that at least deserves an honorable mention.
Rick Barry
Say what you want about Rick Barry, but he's a 90 percent career FT shooter. Looking stupid or not those points still count. Had Shaq adopted this technique he would've been unstoppable. But ego got in the way as The Big Aristotle said he'd sooner "shoot [negative] before shooting [underhand]." Three things in life we'll never understand: Why big men can't put their pride aside to accept Barry's advice, the appeal of the Kardashians, and whatever the hell Shaggy is saying duringAngel.
Andrew Bynum
We'd like to talk about his on-court game, but we really don't get to see it much anymore. Anyway, here's him blowing it out a la Phil Spector. That should say it all.
Dirk Nowitzki
If you were seven feet tall and immigrated to Germany (with your heavy American accent) you'd be awkward too. Note: You can also count this as Nash's honorable mention if you want.
Muggsy Bogues
Anyone who's ever played a pickup game has had an older bully hold a ball up and laugh as they've jumped to get it. The difference? It wasn't in front of 20,000 a night. Inch for inch he may be the GOAT, and for that we give him gigantic respect, but unless he has the legs of a kangaroo he's not getting that ball.
Mark Madsen
In 2002 none of us were all that familiar with the "viral" concept. But now we know, if you make an ass out of yourself you own it forever. We still give him credit for being the only guy who could "thwart" Shaq. Even if it was just practice.
Shawn Bradley
Little known fact: Shawn Bradley is actually two midgets with lupus sewn together.
Joakim Noah
The son of a beauty queen which basically means his dad could spit some serious game.
Pau Gasol
It's not easy coming to a new country and figuring out the customs on the fly. In that respect we'd say Pau's doing damn well for himself. If China ever assumes the throne as the world's greatest superpower we'll all find out how hard it is to learn a second language, new culture, etc. when you accidentally ask "May I lick you goat's dick?" at a business meeting.
Manute Bol
If you're 7'7" you should play in the NBA. Just picture the hoop as a trash can and picture yourself as some guy putting trash in the trash can! That's zen master level psychology. Career RPG? 4.2. For an inflatable tube we expected more.
Adam Morrison
There is no more awkward time in a boy's life than puberty. When your upper lip is stuck in middle school, these are the types of lists you end up on.
JaVale McGee
Whether he's tripping over the half court line or chucking an alley-oop attempt into the nosebleeds, he's pretty much a lock for the weekly "Not Top 10."
Chris Bosh
Where've we seen pictures like this before? Oh yeah, every other site on the internet.
Metta World Peace
His Twitter feed is an online version of a man ranting on a street corner. His demeanor fluctuates from the merry to the terrifying. On-court antics may cause brain hemorrhaging. Hitting him with a beer may lead to a broken nose of a fan sitting two rows in front of you.
Oliver Miller
Drafted with the 22nd overall pick in the '92 Draft by the Suns, the 6'9" Arkansas product was gradually improving until he ballooned to 315+ lbs. At that point he played like a guy who was 315+ lbs (not named Shaq) and became a bust whose minutes got chopped in half because he ate away his stamina. By the end of his career he was routinely shutdown by stationary cardboard cutouts (above). No word on whether he rehabbed his game in the prison yard.
Dennis Rodman
The most awkward athlete in NBA history. He's the closest thing we've seen to performance art on an NBA floor (excluding the gorilla dunking through the ring of fire). We'll never forget the day we waited in line to get an autograph from our role model for his autobiography (complete with a picture of him naked on a motorcycle) only to finally get to the front and see the most beautiful woman we ever laid eyes upon Rodman fully clad in a wedding dress. It wasn't funny in a "haha" way but more like a "fuck...what is going on!?" type of way. You always looked forward to his next antics until you grew up and realized he has a really serious problem with alcohol. It was just another way adulthood ruined your youthful innocence.
