Cardi B says jealousy and betrayal from people closest to her are making her colder, meaner, and increasingly distrustful as she navigates a new level of success.
The rapper opened up about the toll of fame during an Instagram Live session on Tuesday (Oct. 27) following an early-morning gym workout and admitted that even at 34, she is still learning difficult lessons about life and relationships.
"I'm still taking Ls and I'm still learning lessons," she said in the video below, explaining that her experiences have taught her that she is not as immune to disappointment as she once believed.
The Am I the Drama? artist said her biggest challenges lately have involved jealousy and resentment from people in her personal circle rather than strangers online.
"Being successful, it is so scary," she said. “Not even because you just don't know who's genuine anymore. You just don't know who got that secret animosity for you. And it's so crazy because you could be cheering for somebody, you could be loving on somebody, and they don't want that.”
She continued, “It is so sad that bitches that you so fucking close with. N***as will go out their way to humble you. They'll do and they use anything to humble you. And it's so crazy because I don't feel depressed, I don't feel sad. I don't feel nothing. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming an evil villain … I feel like I'm getting colder and mean.
“This is what it means when they say it's lonely at the top. It's fucking lonely at the top,” Cardi added, acknowledging that reaching the highest point of her career has made her consider changing her phone number and withdrawing from people altogether.
“I don't want to be touched by nobody. I don't want to be fucked by nobody. I don't want no bitches calling my fucking phone. I don't want nothing for real, because it's just like y'all turning me so fucking evil and so fucking dangerous. And I know myself. I could really land a heli in this bitch for real,” she continued.
Responding to a viewer who asked whether she sees a therapist, she said, "I haven't seen a therapist in a minute. I don't want to see a therapist. I want these motherfuckers to die."
“I need to do some squats because if I try to go to sleep, I'mma think. And if I think, I'mma think of evil shit. When I think about evil shit, I think about stabbings, shootings, talking about the dead,” she warned.
She concluded the livestream by saying New York and Chicago drill music begins playing in her head when she thinks about revenge.
