Image via Complex Original
For many of us, Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy feels like a publicity stunt that's gotten way out of hand, but as November's U.S. elections near, it’s becoming frighteningly clear that this is actually happening IRL.
Not everyone is shaking their heads in disbelief, though. Trump rallies have proven to be some of the most hateful and violent, summing up everything that's wrong with this country. So, who makes up his crazed constituency? Let’s take a look.
The Practical Joker
These folks don’t actually support Trump—they’re just voting for him for the laughs (and to see if he actually wins). They're the kind of people who wear suspenders ironically. They also have enough money saved to move to Canada. You know, just in case.
The Oompa Loompa
Trump has succeeded in alienating many Latinos with his “just build a wall” stance on immigration, as well as Muslims with his bigoted fear-mongering against Islam. But there's one minority group that really has the Republican candidate's spineless back: Oompa Loompas. He and his orange-skinned brethren are sticking together.
The Fence-Builder
If elected, Trump has promised to build a wall along the Mexican border, so he can keep illegal immigrants out of the country—and given his propensity for constructing commercial real estate, the candidate just might succeed. So, it's only logical that Trump’s border plan has won him support from fence-builders everywhere, as this would mean a surge in jobs.
The Reality TV Producer
If you thought Celebrity Apprentice was reality TV gold, just wait until Trump fires his entire cabinet. Think of the ratings! Losing Omarosa will pale in comparison to losing our secretary of defense.
The Person Who Has Never Seen Nor Ever Will See a Vagina
It’s difficult to simultaneously respect women and vote for Trump at the same time—it’s the political equivalent of having your cake and eating it, too. Trump is pro-life, so there’s that. But perhaps even more alarming is his well-documented misogyny; he's gone on record saying things like, “That must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees” and “You know, it doesn’t really matter what [the media] write, as long as you’ve gota young and beautiful piece of ass.”
Good luck getting laid if you’re voting for him!
