The RNC’s Most Ridiculous Merch

From WTF to surprisingly fresh, here's a peek at merchandise you'll find at the Republican National Convention.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Merch has always been a cherished staple of the American political convention. From straw hats that have never looked good on a single person in history to “Tippecanoe and Tyler too” beer koozies, there’s always dumb stuff to spend your money on while simultaneously expressing your support for the party.

This week, as Republican National Convention attendees descend upon the city of Cleveland like a swarm of “ALL LIVES MATTER” locusts, one can surely expect to see old white people of all stripes kitted out in the latest and greatest pro-Trump and anti-Hillary gear. Nobody wants to be caught dead in last season’s MAGA tee, after all.

Whether you’re attending the convention yourself or just want a peek inside the circus tent, take a break from all the speeches, falling balloons, and casual racism to look at some of the most ridiculous merch both “preferred vendors” and street hustlers are hocking this year:

Anti-Hillary pins

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We all knew that whoever the first female president was going to be would have to develop a thick skin against sexist troglodytes. Whether it's being manufactured by true Hilary-haters or indifferent entrepreneurs just trying to make a buck, the streets outside the convention center are teeming with vitriolic merch that's as nonsensical as it is sexist.

Take this “KFC Hillary Special” pin. The meat (no pun intended) of the message is to mock the woman's body and ideologies, but why drag KFC into this? What does Colonel Sanders have to do with your hatred of Hillary? You're unfocused—take another pass at this pin and have it in my inbox by morning.

Anti-Hillary tees

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Enjoy explaining this shirt to every Millennial you see at the convention, not that you’ll see more than a dozen or so. Even Jay Leno, who pulled Lewinski zingers well into the mid-aughts, would cringe at a joke this tired.

A confusing apparel entry from Future Female Leaders, this deep v-neck posits that the former First Lady wakes up in a cold sweat at the thought of… stilettos? The product description reads, "Show that a true independent, educated, and informed woman is Hillary Clinton’s worst nightmare."

"Squad Goals" tank

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Whether your goal is to revolt and found your own country, own slaves, or to just be a dead, white dude, this tank has you covered. Sold by Future Female Leaders, this merch finally puts to rest any doubts that the GOP is hip to on-the-fleek sang of today's young voters.

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"Don't Tread On Me" hat

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This hat, from hand-stitched accessory company Smathers & Branson, is surprisingly and undeniably fresh. The only ridiculous thing here is how much I’m actually considering buying this.

The other hats in Cleveland? Not so much...

 

Trump handbag

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"End of an Error" bumper sticker

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