10 Fashion Advertising Clichés That Make Zero Sense Whatsoever

We have no idea why fashion ads, campaigns, and brands keep revisiting these tired tropes.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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It isn't enough just to sell clothes by putting your best designs on beautiful bodies. If that's all you did, your designs would get lost in the crowd. You have to find a presentation that pops. You have to seek out ways to make your ad stand out from the other billboards and magazine pages. Sometimes the need to separate oneself from the rest of the rack leads to exciting and innovative ad campaigns. More often than not, it leads to the same hackneyed themes being rehashed over and over again. Eventually, the ads start to blend together and ridiculous looking print ads start to become commonplace.

For some reason, certain themes appear again and again in fashion print ads. How many times have we seen a fair haired model running through a field of wheat if that brand can be associated in any way with "Americana." How often has a swimming pool been used to evoke elegance? Or exotic animals to convey a sense of worldly travel? Today, we look at the most ridiculous and overused fashion ad concepts and demand that style industry ad men try a little harder next time. Here are 10 Fashion Advertising Clichés That Make Zero Sense Whatsoever.

Wheat Fields

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When she presented her Spring/Summer 2011 collection, designer Anna Sui channeled Little House on the Prairie and had her models walk the runway with a wheat field in the background. If you've ever walked anywhere near a wheat field before, you know that you probably aren't likely to see this model-filled Chloé ad:

but this guy:

What has caused so many fashion ads to take to the wheat field? Perhaps it is the "amber waves of grain," synonymous with  the American Dream. Perhaps it is the way that the wheat plays off of a fair-haired model's wind swept look. Perhaps it is because it costs far less to walk to a wheat field than to set up the studio for the day. Whatever the reason, it is time that we retire the wheat field from our print ads and let the poor farmers get back to work.I promise you, teen girls will still by your flannel shirts and pre-ripped denim bootie shorts even if the models are no longer frolicking in wheat.

 

Clothing In Swimming Pools

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Apparently, customers love seeing clothes as they would never wear them. The most glaring example of this is when models sports fashions that would never be worn anywhere near swimming pools while they take laps, lounge about, or express under water ennui.

Admittedly, sometimes it does look quite elegant, like Suitsupply's latest campaign selling impeccably tailored garms.

But are you really going to wear your fancy-ass jewelry into the water? Looking at you, Daria Werbowy for Céline.

If so, you're probably balling on a whole other level (after all—you're in freaking Céline), and we doff our waterlogged caps to you. 

Laundromat Shoots

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Even the most style conscious among us have trouble stunting on laundry day. You're lucky if you manage to put on clean underwear, let alone put together a runway worthy get-up.  If someone showed up at the laundromat looking like Rosie-Huntington Whitely in the above editorial from Vogue Mexico, you might begin to suspect something.

Yet, the readymade retro geometry of laundromats has made "laundry day" a popular a theme for fashion photography, but even when fashion ads put models in outfits that look kind of right, they still feel kind of wrong. But, then again, who wants to see an ad with a model dressed like this?

 

Clothes You Can't Work Out In At the Gym

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While plenty of fashion people love to hit the gym, namely guys like goth beefcake Rick Owens, there are plenty of times the gym acts as a setting for haute couture. Even a mild gym rat knows that if you show up at the gym in head-to-toe Chanel tweed, you will be in violation of the gym's terms and conditions. 

The collegiate meat heads at the front desk are known to cast a blind eye to minor attire infractions, particularly when a cute girl is the culprit, but we all know that high heels can easily get tangled up in jump ropes and rowing machines. And the last thing your local gym needs is a lawsuit on its hands thanks to fashionable footwear. 

Ads for upscale gyms aren't without blame either. Consider this your "on notice" warning, Equinox... or rather, Chic-quinox. This makes sense because both clothing companies and fitness centers are selling you sex at prices that would bankrupt a working class family. But damn, her legs look good.

Body Paint

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Yes, body paint is sexy. But, using body paint in an ad is kind of self-defeating. The model isn't even wearing the clothes you're selling. If that isn't some post-modern late-stage capitalist shit, I don't know what is. And even if you aren't bothered by this increased distance from the product we're buying, you have to admit that it would be helpful to avoid body paint when it comes to items one purchases based on how they support your body. 

In the case of Heidi Klum's Astor Cosmetics campaign, it kind of makes sense—because it's a make-up ad. But New York magazine Fall Fashion Issue cover of Lake Bell doesn't even bother with clothes. The only way you're wearing this "outfit" is if you are cast in a avant-garde production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Of course, there is a time and a place for body paint, like these Ipanema sandals advertisements featuring a flip-flop hawing Gisele Bundchen.

 

Clown Models

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When Cara Delevingne graced the cover of i-D magazine's Winter 2013 issue, the future Suicide Squad actress looked more like Harley Quinn than the character she actually plays, Enchantress. She's the one that looks like she's covered in mud. The excited Harley Quinn? That's actually Margot Robbie.

The clowning around doesn't stop there. When Thom Browne presented his Spring/Summer 2014 runway collection at New York Fashion Week in September 2013. His thought process was probably something like: What's the best way to sell clothes? Hmm.. what are some people are terrified of and everyone else is made extremely uncomfortable by? Drunk uncles? No wait! Clowns. Yeah, we should dress our models up like that to sell clothes.

Why so serious, Thom? Clowns totally sounded like a great idea.

Exotic Animals

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 It isn't difficult to see the appeal of rare and/or dangerous animals in fashion ads. It just seems like it's a lot of effort to get a lion, tiger, or zebra on standby when the animal has nothing to do with the clothes, or in Kirsten Dunst's case, the Bulgari scent she was hawking at the time.

Louis Vuitton is no stranger to using figures like astronauts and Olympic medalists like Michael Phelps for their ads. Their newest campaign features beautiful people on safari meddling with nature and feeding giraffes. With monogrammed luggage of course. Must be nice, fam.

One notable exception to the rule? This ad campaign for Van Gils featuring Kevin Richardson, a literal zookeeper who's worked extensively with native African animals. We're talking jaguars, hyenas, and yes—lions. Just peep the guy's Wikipedia page, he's the real freaking deal. Fine, Kevin Richardson, even though you share a name with a third-rate Backstreet Boy, you get a pass.

Now what would be really cool is if we could get the animals to model the clothes. If only we had the technology ...

Decadent Foods

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Advertisers know what women want, or so they say. Apparently, what they want is to see women skinnier than they'll ever be eating foods they would never eat. Or pretending to eat them, if you'll believe the exploits of hilarious Instagram account @youdidnoteatthat.

Department store Harrod's went all-out for a sugary-sweet digital campaign in 2012 featuring a bunch of confections that practically made you collapse with diabetes upon first sight.

If you want to make that shit extra-aspirational, why not throw in a servant woman who assists our model while she dines a cakes of various sorts? You know, sort of like Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette?

Those Carl's Jr. ads with super models are sexist, play into stereotypes, and generally appeal to terrible people, but hey—at least they're selling burgers. Using cheat day foods to sell tight clothing just seems downright cruel.

Dead Models

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If advertising is supposed to be aspirational, then using dead models kind of makes sense. All humans will eventually be dead whether they like it or not, so it's a goal that every consumer can achieve. Or at least, when you do expire, whether your demise is timely or untimely, the Earthly vessel you leave behind should be a fashionable one. That seems to be the message behind these ads for New Zealand clothing boutique Superette.

It's reassuring that even after you die, your totally sick denim fades will live on. Oh, and your pet dog won't do shit should you get stuck and cut in half by an elevator. Worthless pug.

You know what's sexier than death though? MURDER. Let's not upset the patriarchy though. So instead, let's just have a guy in a really nice suit posing with a seemingly dead woman. No one ever suspects the man in the glenplaid suit after all. Well, that's what this controversial ad from Duncan Quinn in 2008 would have you believe.

Or you know, this 2006 ad for Jimmy Choo featuring Quincy Jones and a shovel. Sheesh. Misogyny aside, this also kind of looks like the prequel to Kanye West's "Flashing Lights" music video, doesn't it?

Sometimes, death is punny (sorry). This 2009 ad campaign for Sarti Tailors revolved around their Fall collection. Which obviously makes for a good joke revolving around plummeting to your doom in a perfectly tailored suit.

 

Nudity

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Ah and the final paradox: Selling clothing by totally going without it. It's one thing to sell glasses or high heels with nude models, as you can see the product as intended while viewing the model's body as nature intended. But even in recent campaigns like the one for Alexander Wang's new denim line, the new product wasn't the only thing that was revealed, so was 99.9% of model Anna Ewer's body.

Look, if you're going to advertise clothing, it would be nice to see the clothing serving its purpose. How else are you supposed to know if you like this Gucci underwear or not? Or is this ad supposed to make you want to go commando? Maybe it implies that Gucci skivvies are meant to be collected and admired, not worn.

Photographer Bruce Weber was known for this sort of thing when he shot for Abercrombie & Fitch. The brand's quarterly magazine was infamous for plenty of n00d #teenz. Case in point? This particular spread featuring one particularly happy looking dog.

Say what you will about those PETA ads, but at least using naked bodies to advertise not wearing certain types of clothing makes sense. It's an absolute flex when PETA manages to get Taraji P. Henson, the actress who plays the character of exotic fur-loving Cookie on Empire, to break character for the sake of the animals.

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