You didn't watch it and you didn't miss anything, here's a brief recap of the only game on the schedule that the NFL can't seem to generate any interest in:
Team Irvin beat Team Carter by a score of 32-28. We're not sure what that means exactly. After all, who had a rooting interest in this? Here's a link to each roster for those interested. Odds are not a single person will click on it, but it's there for you nonetheless.
We doubt that anybody cared about the score, after all, the game is just about showcasing the elite talents of the game (or at least the elite talents of the game who bothered to show up). All fans really care about is the players, a couple of whom didn't entirely phone it in, and a couple of others who...we're not sure (see: Dalton, Andy).
Perhaps the most viral of the night's accomplishments came before the opening coin-flip, when Giants WR Odell Beckham Jr. (Team Irvin) knocked down a 46-yard field goal between altered goal posts that were narrowed to make field goals not as boring:
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That change to slim the posts seemed to work, as it threw off 1st Team All-Pro veteran Adam Vinatieri (Team Irvin), who botched a field goal as well as two extra points.
Beyond his unexpected special teams prowess, Beckham also dazzled with his hands during pregame making a number of one-handed catches that were captured in a Vine sequence:
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After that it was all down hill, as it is every year, when the actual game (that doesn't even get players a free trip to Hawaii anymore) began. Through a slew of weak rushes and not-give-a-crap defenses, there were a couple diamonds in the rough.
J.J. Watt (Team Carter) had a solid night, which is par for the course. The NFL's best defender can't get a national spotlight in the playoffs but he cashed in on his Pro Bowl consolation prize with a fumble recovery in addition to a red zone interception. Those two turnovers garnered the Texans lineman a not-so-prestigious defensive MVP award:
Matthew Stafford (Team Irvin) accumulated stats akin to Matthew Stafford in the regular season, throwing for 316 yards (the second highest Pro Bowl total ever) and two touchdowns. He also fumbled three times and threw the above J.J. Watt pick. Regardless, his play won him the offensive MVP award.
The man Cris Carter chose with the first overall selection (Andrew Luck) had the type of night you'd expect him to have when playing against air. The Colts signal caller finished 9-10 for 119 yards and two touchdowns.
The highlight, or lowlight, or whatever came after a Jordy Nelson (Team Carter) touchdown reception, after which the Packers wideout jumped up and celebrated with Clay Matthews (Team Irvin). While the two share the same sideline during the regular season, for tonight they were on opposing teams. As you can see below, neither player bothered to recognize the difference:
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All in all, the teams combined for an arena-like 1,063 yards, which is to be expected in a game where no one blitzes/cares.
And thus that concludes your wrap-up of the NFL's penultimate crapfest. Nobody will be talking about it tomorrow, so quite honestly reading this might have been completely pointless.
But hey, just one week 'til the Super Bowl, right?
[via Vine]
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