Complex NFL Pick 'Em: Thanksgiving Day & Week 12 Predictions

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "New England, 28-10. Tom Brady and Co. takes care of business on Turkey Day."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "New Orleans, 20-10. Dallas is on a hot streak, but N.O. will quiet them down."

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "Jets, 24-14. Go NY, Go."

1 P.M.) NEW YORK GIANTS @ JACKSONVILLE "Giants, 28-17. We'll be back this week, even without Nicks. "

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Indianapolis,35-24. Manning over Rivers, always."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "Arizona, 14-10. Who cares."

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "New England, 42-24. This one might get out of hand real quick. Although Detroit does play their best on Turkey Day."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "Dallas, 31-27. Dallas is 2-0 with Garrett. This is my upset pick of the week. "

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "JETS, 27-16. Cincy might as well just throw in the towel after their debacle last week against my Bills."

1 P.M.) PITTSBURGH @ BUFFALO "Pittsburgh, 30-17. Buffalo is on fire right now, but the steel curtain should put that fire out."

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Indianapolis, 30-23. I don't see Indy losing two in a row."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "San Fran, 22-16. I'll be honest, I just flipped a coin for this one."

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "New England, 28-14. C'mon, man. Here's the thing: Detroit is my NFC team (wifey's from the D), but how am I gonna look picking them on Thanksgiving when they haven't won since 2003? YEEEEAH HOWZABOUT SOME RESEARCH-BASED ANALYSIS?! However, Ndamukong Suh is a beast...even if he's not Samoan like my ignorant ass thought."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "New Orleans, 28-21. The reincarnation of the Cowboys has been greatly exaggerated. Even Thanksgiving's quasi-Christian sentiment (manifestdestiny FTW!) can't spur Jon Kitna and his evangelical minions on to victory week."

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "New York, 24-23. Santonio's back in the mix, and T.O.'s headed to Revis Island. Palmer? I hardly know 'er!"

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Indianapolis, 31-28. If this were in SD, it'd be a pimpers' paradise for Rivers' goofy ass—the Chargers have always has Peyton's number—but never count the Horse out when they're at home."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "America's Narcolepsy, Infinity-0. Tryptophan-infused leftovers x horrible football = naptime."

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "Patriots, 34-28. Pats will go up big and then give up mad garbage points by the end. Good news for Megatron owners."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "Saints, 35-10. Time to put Kitna back in his place. With Jesus."

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "Cincy, 24-20. Now that the Bungholes have no chance of going anywhere this season, they're gonna start winning some games. That's what mediocre franchises do. Your boy Sanchize gonna have a stinker, I can feel it in the air like B. Siegs."

1 P.M.) MINNESOTA @ WASHINGTON "Skins, 21-19. I know I said we'd lose this game last week, but fuck it, I'm a Redskins fan. It doesn't take much to make us foolishly optimistic. The tough part is playing a team with a new coach—they inevitably perform better. But Favre Dong's gonna throw an inopportune Funball to MeAngelo late in the fourth; then, we're gonna win when McNizzle shows off his cardiovascular energy on a last-minute drive, culminating in a Fred Davis TD. The camera will pan to a joyous Skins sideline—save, Albert Haynesworth, who will look like Shanny just farted in his mouth."

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "San Diego, 27-20. This is the Chargers' season right here. There's no way I'd bet on them (+3), but I have a feeling that Indy won't be able to stop them when they need to."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "Cards, 17-7. Really?!?"

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "New England, 35-14. It's so cooooold in the D. Hopefully it fucks up Brady's perm."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "Dallas, 35-31. Wade Phillips gives thanks that the Cowboys have been playing hard—you know, ever since they got him shit-canned. Thanks a lot."

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "New York Jets, 30-24. Who to pick: the team that can't win a game or the one that can't lose? On the bright side, Cincy has two stars players on a reality show that also sucks."

1 P.M.) NEW YORK GIANTS @ JACKSONVILLE "New York Giants, 31-10. With a bunch of picks against the Cowboys two weeks ago and a costly late fumble on an illogical dive against the Eagles Sunday, Eli showed what a boob he can be. This week, however, the Jags get a tough titty."

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Indianapolis, 42-38. Peyton is done falling off, even if his hair isn't."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "San Francisco, 17-7. No matter who wins this equivalent of a D-III game, we all lose for having to watch it. Scheduling FAIL."

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "New England, 30-26. I'm not crazy, I'm not going to actually pick the Lions here. But I can see the Lions making a game of this. Or not! We're not picking against the spread, so maybe next week I'll just call this a typo and say I meant to pick the Pats 30-6."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "Dallas, 27-23. Could've been a marquee matchup, still could be a good game. This is some going-out-on-a-limb shit, but the 'Boys don't have much to play for; this could be their biggest game left in the season."

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "Cincinnati, 20-16. I'm not sure I really even think this, I just hope the one game I actually get to watch on Thanksgiving turns out close."

4 P.M.) MIAMI @ OAKLAND "Raiders, 24-13. This is a must-win, and a big-time rebound game after Sunday's debacle in Pittsburgh. 10-6 and Oakland can win the AFC West. 10-6 ain't happening if they lose this game."

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Indianapolis, 37-34. I picked the Chargers to win the Super Bowl, but now that the Raiders have a chance and the Chargers are turning it around themselves, I really hope I'm wrong. FWIW, this is how you schedule a prime-time game."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "San Francisco, 27-19. Neither of these teams is eliminated from the playoffs. Pathetic."

THANKSGIVING #1) NEW ENGLAND @ DETROIT: "Patriots, 34-13. I mean, really."

THANKSGIVING #2) NEW ORLEANS @ DALLAS: "Saints, 27-17. Klash of the ex-Kardashians. "

THANKSGIVING #3) CINCINNATI @ NEW YORK JETS: "Jets,27-17.Solely based on who's team has better reality shows."

SNF) SAN DIEGO @ INDIANAPOLIS "Colts, 38-24. Those Peyton are still funny (to me)."

MNF) SAN FRANCISCO @ ARIZONA: "San Francisco, 17-10. I'm a 9ers fan, what can I say?"