Don't get it twisted. Though TV this week has fallen victim to an onslaught of Christmas-themed marathons and general sappiness, not everyone cares so much about the alleged birthday of Mr. Christ. Festivus, theSeinfeld holiday parody that has grown into a full-on holiday of its own in the years since "The Strike" first aired, unites all of us secular heathens each and every Dec. 23. Just in case you're an anti-calendar individual, here's a friendly reminder: THAT IS TODAY. FESTIVUS. IS. TODAY.
Considering how unprecedented (unpresidented?) this year's abject shittiness was, Festivus celebrators haven't wasted a single second in kicking off the unholy day's traditional activities. Though the Feats of Strength will likely come later this evening when everyone has a bit more weed and whisky in their respective systems, the Airing of Grievances is already very much in full swing:
Need your own Festivus pole for tonight and have strategically waited until the last possible minute to bother worrying about it? We got you. Just grab some tape, a few pieces of wood, a pole, and follow these instructions straight from the Seinfeld team:
Happy Festivus, ya bastards.
