What's more romantic than a Valentines Day date that ends in violence and vomit? Patrons of a movie theater in Glasgow, Scotland were treated to both as three women were arrested for allegedly "glassing" a man with shards from a broken wine bottle when the victim attempted to quiet down the rowdy trio during a screening of Fifty Shades of Grey. Just like Step Brothers taught us not to wake up sleep walkers, this incident has made it apparent it's also a major no-no to interrupt the viewing experience of women trying to enjoy some good old fashion BDSM.
Here are a few excerpts from witness Michael Bolton (not that Michael Bolton), who described the fuckery to The Telegraph in all of its debauched glory:
“Besides being the worst film I have ever seen, three women were getting arrested and put in a police van when we arrived.
“A woman came out the theatre and said that a guy had been glassed.
“One woman was in handcuffs and another two women were in tears. She said that three or four girls had been very loud and were shouting.
“The man had asked them to shut up and he was glassed. It’s a cinema where you can buy drink.
“Only in Glasgow are police called to the cinema. This type of behaviour happens at pubs and nightclubs, but you don’t expect that at a cinema.
“The guys at the cinema were tidying up the blood before going in. They were wiping down seats before the start of the 8.20pm film.
“There were also several incredibly drunk women vomiting in the aisle and corridor and several complaints from the other screen about drunk and rowdy folk.”
Such chaos will only further add to the mythology of this cultural watershed of film and literature. This happened during opening weekend, so there will undoubtedly be more ridiculous tales to emerge as Fifty Shades continues its dominating theatrical run. And for a movie about perverse sexual fantasy, I'm sure the theater ushers were thankful that the bodily fluids they had to mop up were merely blood and barf.
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