If there's one thing we know Larry David isn't doing with his free time it's working on a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Despite a clear public mandate, our favorite crotchety old man hasn't given us any indication that the show will ever return. But there's something else David has been cooking up: a game plan for coaching the New York Jets.
While appearing on The Howard Stern Show today, David said he's interested in joining the Jets coaching staff (jump to the 1:13:23 mark). "I think just with a little studying, I think I could be a tremendous offensive coordinator, and defensive coordinator," David said. "I see many things that I know I could fix."
Such as?
"I read this article where it says the odds are in your favor if you don't punt," David said. "But teams don't go for it enough, I think on fourth down. ... I'd be a fantastic coach."
The Jets should certainly consider his candidacy. They'd probably be able to get David for cheap because he already has oodles of money. However, the $800 million figure thrown around is a little high, according to the man himself.
"Howard said Larry and Jerry have made a fortune. Howard said he knows he doesn’t like to talk about money. Larry said that the reports are so insane. He said that it’s nothing like what they say. He said he won’t say exact numbers but it’s so untrue. Larry said when he was married half of it went in the divorce. Howard asked if it killed him to give that money away. Larry said no. Howard said he beat the odds though. He said he did all of that hard work to make that money. Larry…said the money didn’t matter. He said that he’s okay with what she has because that money will go to their kids either way."
You may as well listen to the entire interview. David also touches on his masturbation habits and the pressing question of if he's ever slept with a Palestinian woman. The hour-plus running time is long, but it's probably the most new material you'll get from David in a while.
