A "Boardwalk Empire"-Inspired Guide to Protecting Your Ears From Homicidal Maniacs

A "Boardwalk Empire" inspired guide to protecting your ears.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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If you saw last night's season premiere of Boardwalk Empire, there's one scene that probably stuck with you more than the others—and I'm not talking about Nucky Draper's quest for gold or Lucky Luciano's unsanitary handshakes. No, it was probably when, after providing a machete to his head, Nucky's mysterious Cuban bodyguard cuts an assassin's ear off and puts it in his pocket. You know, this part: 

Gross, right? It was so bizarre and shocking, in fact, that it made the Complex Pop Culture more aware of our precious ears than ever. Are there homicidal ear collectors walking about? If so, shouldn't we know how to protect ourselves? As it turns out, keeping your ears safe is not as hard as you think. Here are 15 steps to holding on to your lugholes

Losing an ear is scary.

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Really scary.

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That's why you need protection.

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Like this.

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You can even use your hands.

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Or your fingers.

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See, Colbert knows what's up.

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And heaphones can double as ear protectors.

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As do these super kawaii penguins.

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Always have a safety plan for your family.

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And help your friends first.

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The more annoying you are, the better.

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Just keep those hands up.

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Make sure your ear gear fits.

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And you'll be just fine.

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