And the 2009 Razzie Awards Nominees are...
Each February, while Hollywood is using collagen-injected lips to fellate itself at the Academy Awards for putting out five watchable flicks, Ayo! Scott's favorite awards show takes the movie industry from behind and sticks a fruit up its tailpipe.
Since 1981, the Golden Raspberry Awards, a.k.a. the Razzie Awards, have called out the worst of the worst movies Hollywood has shat out in a year's time. The nominees for the 2009 Razzie Awards were officially announced this morning. Check them out, along with Ayo!'s pick for each category...
WORST PICTURE
Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans (double nominee from the same writer-directors)
The Happening
The Hottie and the Nottie
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Love Guru
Ayo! Says:The Happening. The trademark twist in M. Night Shyamalan's first "adult" film was that he can even make gore suck.
WORST ACTOR
Larry the Cable Guy, Witless Protection
Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
Mike Myers, The Love Guru
Al Pacino, 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
Mark Wahlberg, The Happening and Max Payne
Ayo! Says: Al Pacino, 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill. Not even De Niro has tarnished his filmography as badly as Al-Paca has. And he's been in a movie with 50 Cent, too.
WORST ACTRESS
Jessica Alba, The Eye and The Love Guru
The cast of The Women (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
Cameron Diaz, What Happens in Vegas
Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
Kate Hudson, Fool's Gold and My Best Friend's Girl
Ayo! Says: Jessica Alba, The Eye and The Love Guru. Shitty acting suddenly seems a lot shittier to Ayo! when an actress pops a kid out and he no longer want to sexually dominate them.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Uwe Boll (as himself), Uwe Boll's Postal
Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mia!
Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru and War, Inc. and The Wackness
Burt Reynolds, Deal and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Uwe Boll's Postal
Ayo! Says: Verne Troyer, The Love Guru and Uwe Boll's Postal. Ayo! had such high hopes for Troyer after Austin Powers but now he just feels shorted.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Carmen Electra, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
Paris Hilton, Repo! The Genetic Opera
Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Ayo! Says: Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie. The last time KK's act was this bad, she was pretending to enjoy Ray J's pipe game.
WORST SCREEN COUPLE
Uwe Boll and any Actor, Camera, or Screenplay
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, What Happens in Vegas
Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Joel David Moore, The Hottie and the Nottie
Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
Ayo! Says: Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave. Murphy's Law: Anything that Eddie Murphy can do wrong, Eddie Murphy will do wrong.
WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF, OR SEQUEL
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Speed Racer
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Ayo! Says:Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Everything else on this list was soft and sweet to begin with, but Ayo! really didn't need to know Indy's son is a leatherman.
WORST DIRECTOR
Uwe Boll, 1968: Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and Uwe Boll's Postal
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
Tom Putnam, The Hottie and the Nottie
Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru
M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening
Ayo! Says: Marco Schnabel, The Love Guru. Obviously there was no point during the filming when the director thought to instruct Mike Myers, "OK, now try it again, and pretend we're trying to make a movie that's funny in this millennium."
WORST SCREENPLAY
Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
The Happening
The Hottie and the Nottie
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Love Guru
Ayo! Says:The Hottie and the Nottie. In writer Heidi Ferrer's defense, anything sounds stupid coming out of Paris Hilton's mouth. Yes, even Ayo!'s otherwise brilliant cock.
WORST CAREER ACHIEVEMENT:
Uwe Boll
Ayo! Says: Congrats, Boll-boy.
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