Adolf Hitler Reportedly Enjoyed People Pooping on Him

To recap: Hitler allegedly had a micropenis, a singular testicle, and a feces fetish.

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Complex Original

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Adolf Hitler’s previously alleged micropenis was reportedly paired with a very specific item of attraction: women’s fecal matter. Citing a "secret spy document" entitled "A Psychological Analysis of Adolph Hitler His Life and Legend" with their usual urgency, the Daily Star claims Hitler was indeed a coprophiliac, a.k.a. someone who enjoyed the sexual company of poop.

In fact, according to some alleged words from Dr. Walter C. Langer, Hitler may have put his infatuation with defecation to use during his alleged relations with a family member. "We must not suppose that Hitler gratifies his strange perversion frequently," Dr. Langer said in his report, cited by the Star. "Patients of this type rarely do and in Hitler's case it is highly probable that he has permitted himself to go this far only with his niece, Geli." According to Dr. Langer, the practice “represents the lowest depths of degradation."

In addition to Dr. Langer's assessment, the report also includes some alleged poop-related commentary from Nazi Brown Shirts leader Ernst Rhoem. "He (Hitler) is thinking about the peasant girls," Rhoem reportedly said. "When they stand in the fields and bend down at their work so that you can see their behinds, that's what he likes, especially when they've got big round ones." Adding that this is simply "Hitler’s sex life," Rhoem then declared "what a man."

As previously reported, Hitler also allegedly possessed that aforementioned micropenis and a singular testicle. Of course, the legitimacy or likelihood of these claims remains up to the reader to decide. However, the image of Hitler as a poop-loving, single-balled possessor of a "tiny" and "deformed" penis sounds about right.

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